It's a Knux Life
by Zukinn Chan
Summary: Yes, like a vampire, or the dinner at the back of the fridge, It's a Knux Life has returned! A Knucklescentric Fic. with Randomness and just a little bit of plot! With Chapter 5, We still keep our characters, and still there is no properly founded plot! Y
1. The adventure begins!

**It's a Knux Life!**

By Zuki the Chao

**Author's note** _(i.e. The random babbling that a fanfiction author puts at the start of a story to whine and/or annoy the reader!)_

Old timers may remember a story with a title like this one, written by a little weirdo named Zuki the Chao. It got pulled off quite some time ago, and was forgotten for eons, until Zuki-chan came across it in the form of a Floppy disc. I decided to touch it up a little, and so here it is! My first ever fanfiction, full of Knuckles adoration and an incredibly OOC Sonic!

Yes! "It's a Knux Life", now with milder swearing, less sense, and just a smidge more of grammar and important coolness like that!1!1!one!

**Chapter one **

Opening scene is Angel island, in front of the Master Emerald. Come on, all Knuckles fan-stories start there!

Knux: -Is sitting in front of the emerald- Doo doo doo...

-Yawns, then his ears prick- What's that? Dodges behind Master Emerald

(A faint "Sonic Sonic" sound is getting louder and Louder and LOUDER, until Sonic the hedgehog comes into view. Big surprise, hey!)

Sonic: -Looks vacantly into the Master Emerald- Ooh... Shiiiiiny…

Knux: -Shakes head- Oh brother! Why are you here, Sonic?

Sonic: Uh… I dunno.

(Suddenly a very large, and very ugly, space ship lands on Angel island)

Sonic: Ooh! Eggman's head!

Knux: Dr. Eggman!

Sonic: Huh? Oh! Knuckles! What are you doing here?

Knux: -Sweatdrop- What happened to your brain, Sonic?

Sonic: Dunno.

(The spaceship opens to reveal Eggman, Metal Sonic and...)

Knux: ...Rouge! What are you doing here with Eggman! Again!

Rouge: I'm helping him steal your Emerald, duh. -Folds arms-

Sonic: Duh... Hi Rouge!

Rouge: -Sweatdrop- ...Hi Sonic?

Knux: -In disbelief no dah- But… Rouge... I don't understand?

Rouge: -Bats her eyelids- It's perfectly simple, though your tiny brain doesn't seem to be able to figure it out.

You won't leave that stupid Emerald, so I've decided to steal it. Again. As this is the plot of many Knuckles fanfictions. Often.

Sonic: I'll stop you Eggman!

Eggman: Sure... You'll never defeat me! You've defeated me the last time, and the time before that, but I'll beat you this time! Yosh!

Metal Sonic: -Flexes claws and readies for battle, glaring-

(While they are fighting, Sonic's crap Chao Sonic Junior., which is an angel Chao with a skunk tail, picks up the Master Emerald and takes it to a conveniently placed teleporter set for 8 random zones and smashes it on there. This is a shred of plot, folks!)

Knux: -Looks just in time to see the Chao do this- Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

Sonic: Ooh! 21 O's and 18 exclamation marks!

Eggman: -Mind boggles, yo- Sonic, your crappy Chao just shattered the Master Emerald and all you can think about is O's and exclamation marks!

Sonic: Yeah! And tree stumps too! They're so cool!

Sonic jr.: -Sucks Thumb-

Metal Sonic: -Sweatdrop-

Rouge: Well, I'm sure WE can find them huh doctor?

Eggman: Who said We? You and Mecha go!

Rouge: Huh? Why not you?

Eggman: ...because I can't walk that far!

Rouge: -Rolls eyes- Take your Transporter, or your mech, or something!

Eggman: I can't be bothered to... I'll meet you later, now go! Go, bright children!

Rouge: -Stares at Eggman- Fine! Come on Metal Sonic! -Grabs him by the hand/claw/whatever, as she's about to fly off-

Mecha: ... -Stares at Rouge-

Knux: -Glares- Rouge, Mecha can fly perfectly well too, he **is** a robot!

Mecha: -Glares at Knuckles-

(They fly off)

Eggman: Mwahahahahahaaah! -Walks into the side of his ship- Ow...

(Eggman's ship departs. Bye Eggman!)

Knux: ...well, come on Sonic! We have to save the Emerald!

Sonic: Why?

Knux: Because Eggman will take over the world if he gets it!

Sonic: Why?

Knux: Because he's an evil tub of lard!

Sonic: Why?

Knux: Just because, Sonic.

Sonic: Why?

Knux: -Vein pops- IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I'LL KICK YOUR LITTLE ASS!

Sonic: Why?

Knux: -Punches Sonic-

Sonic: Ow. You're so violent, Knuckles.

Knux: Idiot.

(Knux drags sonic to the convenient teleporter and they blink out of sight)

Will they save the Master Emerald? Where the Hell is Tails? Do we care?

Find out all in the next episode of "It's a Knux life!"!

Sonic: 30 !'s! Imagine that! 30 twee thumps! -Drools-

Well, that's the first one. I hope you guys like it. I'm sure your grammar will be trying to stab you for reading all the way through this chapter, but hey, no one listens to good grammar nowadays, anyways. Is there anything in particular you'd like to see in chapters to come? The "Sonic Sonic" thing is from "Sonic the Hedgehog", when you get a life, I think. I always got a laugh out of that. Also, is being retarded about Asterixes, so that's why the less conventional method of indication actions is being used for now. Tell me if I missed any.

Bei Bei!

Zuki


	2. Meet OOC Chaos and Tikal!

**-It's a Knux life!-**

By Zuki the Chao

Well, in this chapter we'll meet Tikal, Chaos Zero and Tails. And we'll also find out where Shadow got to… -Sniggers- Because, you see, every good Sonic "ficcy" has Shadow in it!1! How did he survive ARK? I don't know, but read on!

**-Chapter Two-**

-Knuckles and co. find themselves in a forest. There are lots of mushrooms everywhere.-

Knux: Hey! It's Mushroom Hills!

Sonic: Mmm! Mushrooms!

Sonic Jr.: -Suck Suck-

Knux: -Sigh- Well... come on you guys! This level MUST have an Emerald! Why would we be here if there wasn't one, after all? Anyway, let's start looking.

Sonic: Why?

Knux: Don't even THINK about starting that again!

Sonic: ...okay. -Looks ahead- Hey! A little shrine!

Knux: This should do something cool! -Starts playing Mystic Melody on a flute he just happened to have- ...It's not working.

Sonic: ...Sonic wind!

Knux: Eeew! Sonic!

Sonic: -Grumpy glare- I had beans for dinner, Is that a crime?

-Suddenly the shrine glows and an Orange Echidna appears-

Tikal: Huh? Wha? Whoa... -Her eyes get those really stupid anime hearts that makes Sailor Moon look mature- ...Sonniku!

-Long Pause-

Sonic: Huh?

Knux: What the? ...Tikal!

Tikal: Sonniku!

Sonic: Who is that, Knuckles?

Knux: That's Tikal, an Echidna from an ancient tribe… -Pauses, then stares at Sonic- Hang on, Sonic, you know her already!

Tikal: Oh Sonic! I never knew how lost I was till I saw you!

Knux: Tikal, Sonic is lost in his own tiny mind, What the hell are you

thinking? What happened to your brain? Weren't you smart last time I saw you?

Tikal: I love you sonic! Will you marry me?

Tails: Back off! He's mine!

Knux: Where the hell did you come from Tails!

Tails: Plothole. Get over it ...Hi sonic!

Tikal: Mine!

Tails: Mine!

Tikal: Mine!

Tails: Mine!

Knux: Idiots. -Sigh-

* * *

Meanwhile... at Eggman's ship. Or base. Or Cow. 

-Shadow is stuck on a chair-

Shadow: Why oh why did Heavy leave the glue bottle here! How will I get off this? ...I know! Maria! Maria...

-Maria appears-

Maria: -Maria is visible through thick mist that is wafting around her. Smoke machines are fun!-

...Look you little idiot. If you need **me** to get **your** butt off a glue-covered chair then you're so not cool! -Maria stomps off-

Shadow: Noo! Come back Maria! Someone! Anyone!

* * *

Meanwhile... With Rouge and Metallix. (As opposed to Meanwhile… with Omochao and Big) 

-The two are in a lush rainforest-

Rouge: Hey, I remember this place! It's Botanic Base! It's kinda still on Angel Island! I was sent here once on a mission! (Exclamation Mark!)

Metallix: ...Bweep? -Stares at Rouge-

Rouge: Oh! With Eggman, with Eggman! Of course! I wouldn't be working for anyone else! I'm not suspicious at all!

Metallix: -Looks suspicious whilst still being able to glare-

Rouge: Uhh… I'm sure that there's an emerald nearby! Woman's intuition!

Metallix: ...

-They come up to a lake-

Rouge: That shade of blue looks familiar...

-Part of the Lake takes shape of the Chaos emerald beast thing, Chaos Zero-

Chaos Zero: Hi Rouge! -Waves-

Rouge: Hello Chaos.

Chaos: Can we go on a date now Rouge?

Rouge: Sure.

Chaos: Really!

Rouge: No.

Chaos: Aw... So what are you two doing?

Metallix: -Stares at Chaos-

Rouge: We're looking for a piece of the Master Emerald.

Chaos: Well, I might be able to help you!

Rouge: ...Sure.

Metallix: -Stands there and glares. I love writing descriptions.-

Chaos: Well, let's go shall we?

Rouge: Okay.

Chaos: And then maybe a date?

Rouge: No.

Chaos: Damn!

Rouge: By the way, Chaos, why are you acting OC and talking?

Chaos: Because I'm much cooler that way. Besides, if we were being IC, you wouldn't know who I was, anyway.

Rouge: Give a fan fan-fiction and they completely butcher a fandom…

* * *

Well, that's the second! And to all of you, don't worry, Amy is coming soon! And don't worry about Tikal, she'll come to her senses and be cool again, I promise! My promises are worth five squirrels! 

To answer my single reviewer's question (YAYS!), I'm not particularly a fan of any particular Knuckles coupling, but Knux/Rouge seems to be the most canon? They're kinda cool together, anyways. I'm glad this little file of bytes and barks amused you somehow, anyways.

As always, please R & R!

Bei Bei!

Zuki.


	3. Capsicum Springs and Chao

-**It's a Knux life!**-

By Zuki the Chao

The only new members in this Psycho story is Amy Rose and Villien the chao (Dark Chao walker, yosh) ...And Stinger the Chao, who was the hero of another of my old fanfictions, and has now been reduced to a fanfiction helper. Kinda.

* * *

**-Chapter Three-**

_"Echidona, that's what I'm representin'…"_

-Sonic, Tikal, Tails and Knuckles are walking through a big forest with many mushrooms-

Tails: Mushrooms!

Sonic: Twee stumps!

Tikal: Sonniku!

Tails: Hey, he's mine!

Knux: Stop it you guys, your over-use of exclamation marks are making me sick.

Tails, Tikal and Sonic: Ok...

Knux: Tikal, why do you keep on acting like Amy, anyway?

Tikal: Well… -Blink blink- I don't know…

Knux: -Sigh- Anyway, we've gotta be careful... I've been here before, and there's these weird springy things that can bind you to them forever, and you'll never be able to break free of them! -Sonic's foot gets caught in a capsicum-like spring- ...shit.

Tails: Sonic! Don't worry, I'll save you! -Tails runs toward Sonic and gets caught in the spring- Aww…

Knux: You are such idiots! -Looks down to see that he has just stepped onto the springy thing- ...Shit!

Tikal: Sonniku! -Runs up to Sonic and gets herself caught-

Knux: Great. I'm stuck here for who knows when. And Rouge is after my Emerald. With Mecha. And I'm doomed to be stuck with you till' hell freezes over.

Sonic: Thath a bad thing?

Tikal and Tails: Yeah? That's a bad thing?

Omochao: -Appears- Be careful not to walk into weird capsicum springs! –Disappears-

Knux: -Stares- That… That was so random!

-Sonic Jr. walks up to them and looks at them-

Knux: We may have a chance! Sonic Jr., I _know_ that you're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be. Nothing can be that dumb, not even Sonic's chao.

Sonic jr.: -Suck Suck- )

-Flies up over the spring and gets himself caught in ANOTHER spring that is magically just above them-

Knux: Sonic, your chao sucks.

Sonic: Thankth... Sonic Jr., Come down! -Sonic Jr. is just, there, and still sucking it's thumb- ...Oh, I'll help you!

-He pulls out his bounce bracelet-

Knux, Tikal and Tails: -In slow motion, because it's cool, and over-used- No Sonic! DOOOOOOOOON'T !

-Sonic jumps up and gets stuck in both springs, successfully trapping the entire party-

-Tails and Tikal move closer to sonic-

Knux: That's not right... Oh I'm doomed here! I can't believe the stupidity of you all!

Anyone, **ANYONE** who can save us... I'll do **anything** for them. Except for give them the Master Emerald, of course. Mustn't make myself vulnerable now!

(Suddenly a very spastic theme song begins to play and a pink hedgehog drops down from a tree... and lands face first on the ground)

Amy: You're so sweet… Ow...

Knux: Amy! What are you doing here?

Amy: I was looking for Sonic... Have you seen him?

Knux: Uh, he's right there. -Points to Sonic- But… can you help us out first? DON'T JUMP ONTO THE SPRING, I BEG YOU!

Sonic, Tails and Tikal: Why?

Amy: -Evil eyes glint- You said you'd do _anything_ if someone helped you...

Knux: …Why do I get the feeling that was I'm going to regret this?

Amy: -Back to normal- Anyway! I shall rescue you! -Girlish giggle- Have no fear, Amy Rose is here! -She Pico Pico hammers the spring and Sonic, Tails, Tikal and Knux fall out of it-

Sonic: Thankth Amy!

Sonic Jr.: -Suck Suck-

Tikal: Yeah, thanks…

Tails: You always have to spoil my fun Amy!

Amy: -Pause- So what are you guys doing here? And have you seen Sonic?

Knux: -Stares at Amy- Are you serious? -Looks at her, then at Sonic, then decides to ignore Amy's last comment-

We're looking for one of the eight pieces of the Master Emerald... -Sweat drop- But you don't need to help us, honest!

Amy: Well, I can help you. I'm pretty good at finding things.

Tikal: I believe that is called persistence, actually.

Knux: Did you listen to what I said, Amy?

Amy: …No.

Knux: What did I do to be surrounded by such idiocy!

Amy: -Cries- Wahh! You're mean, Knuckles! -Stops crying- Let's go!

-Amy grabs Knuckles by the quills and drags him off with her, with Tikal, Tails and Sonic following-

* * *

_"Steel shines like the sun, but remains forever cold."_

(Rouge, Metallix and Chaos Zero are walking/hovering/oozing through the rain forest)

-By some weird Plothole Metallix gets separated from them and falls down a hole. As you do-

Metallix: -Beeeeeeeeep-

-He lands to find himself not dented ...and in front of a weird cage with a sobbing chao in it. The chao immediately stops crying.-

Stinger: -Happy Omochao-like music- Just so you _dear _readers can understand, we're gonna translate Metallix's beeps... Otherwise there would be no point in this crap chapter!

Metallix: -Studies the cage- Who are you?

Chao: I'm a chao. What do I look like? A banana?

Metallix: -Glares… which is what he always does! Wooh!- Why are you in there?

Chao: How would I know? I'm just a Chao.

Metallix: Do you want to get out?

Chao: Not the smartest blender on the block are you?

Metallix: …? -Glare-

Chao: ...YES.

Metallix: Fine. -Metallix slashes the cage with his steel Claws-

Chao: Thanks! -Turns to leave. Yes, the most open and "dramatic" move in fanfiction ever.-

Metallix: Where are you going?

Chao: Away. Why? Do you want me to stay?

Metallix: Not really.

Chao: Okay. But you'll have to give me a name. (Have you noticed that characters in my "Ficcy" rarely listen to each other? Lol!1!)

Metallix: Name?

Chao: You know. Your name is Metallix. Amy's name is Amy...you get what I mean? ...Or are you just an idiot?

Metallix: Why is a name needed?

Chao: Because otherwise you get boring, like you, and you get stuck with an unoriginal name, like "Metal Sonic".

Metallix: -Glares-

Chao: Ugh! How about Villien, then?

Metallix: Fine, Villien.

Villien: Suits me.

Metallix: We'd better go and relocate Rouge.

Villien: Rouge?

Metallix: She is my -Pauses- "Master's" accomplice. -They walk off... Well, fine, more like hover/waddle-

Villien: -As they go- ...Is Rouge a girlfriend of yours?

Metallix: -Looks at Villien- …No? (Girlfriend? What is this strange thing this Chao speaks of? A new l33t code?)

Villien: Woah, you ARE boring!

* * *

Well, that's the third. Hope you enjoyed meeting Villien, and re-meeting Amy. I didn't know that Mecha can somehow talk when I first wrote this ages ago, and I thought it'd be a lot more fun if I kept him how he was. That way, I get to write -glares- a lot.

In the next chapter, there'll be a new Team to follow, making it 3 Teams per chapter! Just who are they? Omg, you'll have to wait and see!

Bei Bei!

Zuki.


	4. Enter the Eggman

**-It's a Knux Life!-**

By Zuki the Chao

This chapter includes everyone's favourite Detective team ...and we also get Eggman to do stuff ...yay?

I'm glad some people are enjoying this weird little fanfiction (Albeit mostly for its randomness)! Like, w00h peoplez!

* * *

**Chapter Four**

-Somewhere in Station Square, or whatever- Let's go to the E.G.G.M.A.N, yo!-

Eggman: -Yawn- I wonder how Rouge and Metal Sonic are going. I really should be making sure that they're following my orders, considering that Rouge is pretty much in it for herself, and Metal Sonic is probably one of my most disloyal robots ever. But I won't. I'm going to go for a walk today instead. Never put anything before your exercise!

-Eggman slowly gets out of his Egg Mech., almost crushing an innocent passer-by, and stretches his arms out slowly-

Eggman: Phew… it's… hard work… -Collapses, sweating- I forgot how hard exercises are… -Sob- Heeelp!

-A passer-by hears the cry for help, and rushes up to the fallen… man.-

Passer-by: -Turns down his headphones and puts his hand out- I heard ya need some help!

Eggman: No.

Passer-by: -Stares at Eggman- But, but you just said… -Eggman stares at him as if he's crazy- Eh, okay. -Begins to walk off-

Eggman: Noo! Please save me!

Passer-by: -Turns back- So you **do** need help?

Eggman: No.

Passer-by: -Glares- Fine! -Manages to stomp a few steps away until…-

Eggman: Noo! Please-

Passer-by: -Veinpop- Argh! Stupid fat man! -Grabs Eggman's arm and pulls him to his feet-

Eggman: -Stares- Thanks a lot! -Hugs a stranger. Er, I mean, the stranger. If it's possible-

Vector: (For of course, it was he) -Stares at Eggman, worried. As you would be. Unless you're a big-time Eggman fan, which in this case, you'd probably be begging him for his autograph, or something- Er, is this some kind of joke?

Eggman: No. I'm so glad you saved me! -Happiness! Joy!-

Vector: Would you let go of me!

Eggman: No! I wuv you! -

Vector: -Disturbed- Uhh…-Mind boggles-

-Charmy the bee flies up, and almost crashes into Eggman and Vector-

Charmy: Hey Vector! ) What're you doing? -HAPPY!-

Vector: -Throws Eggman off him, which isn't Eggmanly possible. But neither's Omochao, and he's real, too- Getting rid of this creep! Let's run! -Grabs Charmy by the arm, and they run off-

Eggman: Aww. -Sad-

**STATION SQUARE**

**-Mission:** **Escape from Eggman!-**

-Vector and Charmy run for a while, collect rings and destroy a few random robots, before stopping to catch their breath-

Charmy: Vector, why was that man hugging you?

Vector: I helped him get up on his feet, and he hugged me!

Charmy: Wow! Now there's a fanboy for you! –Giggles-

Vector: It wasn't funny, Charmy! -Glare-

Eggman: Yeah, that wasn't funny! -Glare-

Vector+Charmy: ARGH! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!

Eggman: I… don't know!

-Vector and Charmy have already sped off while Eggman was saying this very long sentence-

-After some amount of running, Vector and Charmy stop to like, you know, breathe. And that sentence sounded kind of wrong. Ew.-

Vector: I think we've lost him!

Espio: -Steps out of nothingness, since he was invisible… just then. Because I say so.- I heard you two were in trouble? -SERIOUS-

Charmy: -Flies around Vector's head. Yes, like an Omochao- Yeah! Vector's got himself a fanboy! Tee-hee!

Espio: …I don't see how that could be too troublesome. Disturbing, yes, but not troublesome.

Vector: You'd be worried if you saw the guy!

Eggman: Hey, that's not nice! -Sob-

Team Chaotix: -Girly scream-

Eggman: Please don't run away. I won't hug you, I promise.

Vector: Ya sure?

Eggman: Indeedy! Have I ever lied?

Espio: Well…

Eggman: Hi, I'm Eggman.

Espio: We… already know that?

Eggman: -GASP!- Omg! How did you know!

Charmy: Uh, you just told us?

Eggman: ...Oh. Hey! I know! Do you wanna help me find an Emerald?

Vector: No.

Espio: We'd never help the likes of you!

Eggman: Aww... Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease! -Jumps up and down like a schoolgirl-

Team Chaotix: Aaaaaargh! Alright already! We will!

Eggman: Yeeay! –Blank- Hey, do you wanna see a cool dance?

Vector: Eh, not really…

Eggman: Okay! -Does some weird dance which involves jiggling- Do the Eggman! Yeah! Do the Eggman!

Charmy: -Stares at Eggman, pauses, and then flies around, giggling- It's kind of hypnotic huh?

Vector: MY EYES, ESPIO! MY EYES!

Espio: Let's leave this scene, now!

* * *

"Roses aren't always red..."

(Knux and co. are still walking…)

Amy: Are we near it yet?

Knux: -Sweatdrop- Uh... You mean the Emerald, right?

Tikal: That was a completely lame attempt at innuendo, you two. -Shakes head-

Knux: -Sarcasm, sarcasm- Oh, are you going to be smart now, Tikal?

Tikal: -Glomps Sonic- What are you talking about!

Knux: -Sigh-

Tails: -Veinpop- Get off Sonic, Tikal! I'm sure he doesn't like that!

Tikal: But Sonic and my love is true! It surpasses time, sense and logic!

Tails: -Stares- Well, what **do** you think about that, Sonic?

Sonic: Duh…

(A rare glimpse inside Sonic's brain!)

Inside Sonic's Brain: -Theme song from Playschool plays-

Sonic: -Goofy smile-

(The sun collapses and the moon jerks up)

Tikal: -Giggle- Time for us to sleep... I bag Sonniku!

Tails: Ew, No, that's gross! …I want him!

Tikal: He's mine!

Tails: Mine!

Amy: -Hits both of them on the head with her Pico Pico Hammer- Don't be stupid! Sonic's all mine! If only I could find him… -Looks around, in vain-

Sonic: -Blinks- I'm right here, Amy?

Amy: It's almost as if I can hear him talking... -Looks up at the sky, sadly. Boo-hoo!-

Tails, Tikal and Sonic: -All stare at her-

Tails: Well, I guess we should just all sleep in separate spots, then.

Tikal: -Mischievous look- Unless it gets cold, for some reason…

Tails and Tikal: -Glare at eachother-

Sonic: -Yawns, and goes off to sleep by a tree-

(Tails and Tikal follow him)

Knux: Something about them worries me, although I'm not sure what.

(Amy walks up to him)

Amy: I'm so sad Knuckles. I can't find Sonic. -Sob-

Knux: But… he's right over there. -Points to where Sonic is sleeping, peacefully, and Tails and Tikal are fighting-

Amy: Ohmygosh! You are so mean and insensitive, Knuckles! No wonder Rouge thinks you're stuck up! -Runs away, sobbing uncontrollably-

Knux: -Looks over at Sonic, then back at where Amy was- But, he is… -Long pause- ROUGE THINKS I'M STUCK UP! WHAT A HYPOCRITE! I CAN'T IMAGINE WHERE SHE GOT THAT IDEA! -Fumes-

Sonic Jr.: -Walks up to Knuckles- -Suck Suck- -Sits down next to him and goes to sleep-

Knux: -Sighs, and sits down too- I've really got to ask Tikal, what I did to offend those Echidna gods… Because man, I'd love to know why everything is going so…

Omochao: -Flies past, singing some random… I dunno… Micheal Jackson song. Does that qualify as random, or would you expect to see an Omochao, singing a Micheal Jackson song?-

Knux: -Loooong pause- I'm just going to shut up now. -Curls up to go to sleep-

* * *

"Black as Ebony and Psychotic as Amy…"

-Metallix and Villien catch up with Rouge and chaos-

Metallix: -Salutes-

Villien: Hi! Salutations! Where's the Barbecue Sauce?

Rouge: -Pause- …Huh? Oh there you are Metallix! Who's this?

Villien: I'm Villien the Chao! I'm cute, lovable, and **totally** collectable! -Pose-

Rouge: Aww, So cute! -Tries to pat Villien-

Villien: -Bites her finger- Get your hands off me!

Metallix: -Grabs Villien by the neck-

Villien: Yeesh! Sorry, sorry... -Mecha drops him-

-Grins evilly- …Sorry, Mecha's girlfriend!

Rouge: Mecha's… girlfriend…? -Enough to set anyone's teeth on edge-

Metallix: -Stares at Villien, trying to compute what it exactly is that Villien keeps on implying-

Chaos: -Glares at Mecha- Rouge is MY girl! Got that? Tin Can!

Mecha: -Glares back at Chaos-

-Chaos and Metallix glare daggers into eachother. Forget staring contests, folks! **Real** men have Glaring contests!-

Villien: -Snickers, and does a little "Bad Chao" dance-

Rouge: -Rolls eyes- Oh stop it you two! -Shoves them away from each other- Come on, let's go...

* * *

I love Team Chaotix, they're my favourite team to play in "Sonic Heroes", specially since I used to play Knuckles Chaotix, too. (Albeit on a Rom… -Gets flamed-)

'Course, this being the fabulous "It's a Knux Life", they had to be butchered, but I'm sure they'll forgive me one day.

-Resumes hiding under her couch, while many angry voices can be heard in the background, and a shuriken narrowly misses her ear-

Zuki


	5. Romance problems

**-It's a Knux Life!-**

By Zuki the chao

Hello all! I thought to myself, "I shall not update this story until I finish another chapter of my other Sonic Story, because I want to write more serious stuff, than just this randomness." Well, I might still want to finish that darn chapter, but randomness is a heck of a lot easier to write, and I wanted to submit a new chapter. So, here it is! D Thanks for all your awesome reviews, people!

P.S: **DISCLAIMER:** I don't own anything Sonic, at all. It took me 5 chapters to realise this, apparently.

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**-Chapter Five-**

"Sonic Heroes, what's your problem, please?"

(Eggman and Team Chaotix are escaping the fire of some angry Eggman robots. Why? Uh, well, they're there to make a level, duh!)

Charmy: -Sob- This is hard! -Does a flip, and barely misses being hit-

Vector: Leave this ta me, boys! -Gets hit by a robot with a lance. My descriptions rule.-

Espio: My Ninja Power™ doesn't seem to be working! -Sob-

Vector: Sure it's not. It's not like it actually doesn't exist, or anything.

Eggman: -Is dodging with the grace of a ballerina- What's your problem? This is easy! -Does a pirouette-

Vector: That's because the Lasers are bouncing off your fat, you ass!

Eggman: -Bursts into tears- Waaaaaaaaaaaah! You're mean! I'm not fat, It's my bones, they're big!

Big: -Hops out of a plothole- Duuuuh… Don't you mean, "There's Big"?

AOL Man: -Hops out after him- You got bad grammar! -They hop back in-

Vector: Well… That was… really weird. -Eye twitch-

Espio: Eggman, stop crying. It doesn't look... grown-up. Or smart.

Eggman: That's okay. I know you didn't mean it. In fact, to symbolize our re-formed friendship, I'll do a dance just for you!

Chaotix: (Ad lib) No! NOOOO! It's Okay! Really! YOU DON'T NEED TO! YAY!

Eggman: -Bounces up and down, and dances like, I dunno, some Disco Fool- It's fun! Like Kero vandalizing!

Vector: Who tha heck is Kero?

Eggman: My best friend!

Charmy: Then… then… -Stares, confused- Why did you say "It's fun! Like **KERO VANDALIZING**"!

Eggman: …What does vandalizing mean?

Espio: ...You suck Eggman.

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"The Echidna with teeth..."

Knux: Well, now that everyone's had a rest, can we **finally** get on with looking for the Master Emerald shards?

Amy: -Turns Demonic- No! -Goes back to normal- I haven't brushed my hair yet.

Knux: But… you don't have hair, Amy…

Amy: -Deathglare- Shut up.

Knux: -Shuts up-

Tails: Any words of cheerful wisdom today, Sonic?

Sonic: …Is our children learning?

Tails and Tikal: So true!

Knux: If I may quote one of our reviewers, Is it just me or is Sonic a complete idiot? (A/N: That was in the old days, folks. A reviewer really did say that, I promise!)

Amy: He's an Idiot, of course.

Tails: -Stares- Amy, don't you like Sonic?

Amy: Of course I do! How dare you question my love for Sonniku! -Pulls out her Pico Pico Hammer, and starts bashing Tails-

Tikal: No he's not an Idiot! Filthy Knuckles! Sonic-hating scum! Ex-Sonic fan! What a nasty Echidna!

Knux: -Sigh- Can we **please** get on with it?

Sonic: Yeah! I don't know **why** all of you are taking so long! -Rolls eyes-

Tails and Tikal: OMG. -Sob- We'll go now! We'll do whatever it takes, to find that Emerald Shard!

Knux: -Stunned- Wow, thanks Sonic…

Sonic: …Huh?

Knux: -Sigh- Nevermind.

Amy: Let's find those Emerald Shards!

Knux: Mind those poorly made Eggman Robots! Especially that Centipede Ro-

-Said Centipede Robot slithers around on the ground, and starts slithering up Amy-

Amy: Yeeeek! -Bashes the Robot to pieces, then jumps on it for good measure-

Tikal: Well, that's taken care of, then!

Knux: I'm never going to get used to this…

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Plum Purple wings, Cyan eyes...

(Rouge, Villien, Chaos and Mecha are looking around the fountain in Botanic base on account of their radars are going nuts. Rouge looks into the fountain's water. The reflection shimmers and Knuckles is standing next to her. She looks around only to see nothing but Mecha hovering about, blasting any plant life that may be hiding an Emerald Shard, and Chaos observing the moonlight)

Rouge: -Thinks to herself- That rotten Echidna! -Hits the Reflection, splashing water everywhere- -CUE NAUSEATING ROMANTIC MUSIC HERE!-

I don't see why I liked him in the first place! He was always caring about the Emerald more than me: Couldn't even leave his post to visit me once in a while. Shadow was always more romantic than he was. In fact, he still is.

Mecha? It would never work out... I mean, I'm a bat and he's an emotionless, ruthless Robotic Sonic... But everyone has feelings. And he'd keep my secrets.

And when I'm feeling down... There's always Chaos, I guess. -Looks up at the Chaos Emerald Beast who is still observing the moon-

He must really care about me to keep on going, even when I have rejected him... -Pulls out her notebook and studies it- ...637 times. That could be stupidity, too, but I'm not going to believe that.

Villien: (Is behind her. She didn't notice) You like them, don't you?

Rouge: Wa? Argh! Pervert! -Splashes water at his face-

Villien: Well you didn't have to get so freaked like that!

Rouge: Did you listen to my thoughts? Can Chao do that?

Villien: Yup. I'm one of a kind!

Rouge: Mind your own business! -Throws Villien at the Fountain-

Villien: -Gets stuck at the top of it, and glares down demonically at Rouge. SUDDENLY he dives into the water and resurfaces with the Emerald shard- ...I have found it!

Chaos: -Runs up to Rouge- Is everything okay? I felt a massive energy surge!

Mecha: -Glides up to Rouge and just looks at her, serious. Yeah, he's so cool-

Rouge: -Puts on a pained expression- I… I'm okay... -Looks at both of them-

Mecha: -Cocks his head to one side-

Chaos: What is it? What's wrong?

(Villien: -Sigh- Why isn't anyone paying attention to me? I just found a darn Emerald, for crying out loud!)

Rouge: Uhh... Villien did this weird thing and he glowed purple and his eyes glowed red and it was really freaky and-uhh...-Faints-

-Mecha catches her-

(Villien: Ahhh, I don't flirt. That's why no one listens to me.)

Mecha: -Looks down at her-

Chaos: -Looks closely at her- She still looks so beautiful...

Mecha: -Jostles his arm, to shove Chaos away from him, and makes some indeterminable robotic noise-

Chaos: I don't know what you said, but give me her! Tin can, I may never get this chance again... You can't do anything with her but I can!

Rouge: -Twitches, and wakes up- Huh, what's happening…? Metallix?

Mecha: -Just, well, looks at her. There isn't that much description to give, is there?-

Chaos: -Is getting totally pissed off- Gyaaaaaah! She's mine! GET IT! TIN CAN, YOU WILL DIE!

Rouge: Oh dear... -Blush- Well, anyway, you guys... We have the Emerald Shard... -Grabs the shard out of Villien's hands- See?

Chaos: Cool! We'd better get going then, if we're to get the rest of them.

Mecha: -Nods-

Rouge: Yes, we should! -She takes hold of their hands and they walk/ooze/hover off-

Villien: Gyah! I can't believe it! I almost let out my secret to that… that… Rouge must never know, otherwise my Master's efforts will be in vain!

I thought that Chaos, of all Chao, would see me for what I am. I guess he is as thick as they say. And that Mecha shan't be a problem at all... As my master said, he is only built for destruction, not deduction.

As for the others, well, that should be taken care of soon enough... Phase one has nearly begun... -Walks off after them-

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What is Villien's secret? Does Espio's Ninja Power™ really exist? Will "Team Knuckles" ever find their piece of the Emerald? Who is Villien's Master?

Find out all and lots more you didn't want to know in the next chapters of "It's a Knux Life!"

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Did ya like it? I hope so! Did you know that Fanfiction dot Net doesn't allow !'s? How weird!questionmarkexclamationmarkweirdness!

Bei Bei!

Zuki.


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